Ep 21: The Stepparent’s Crippling Dirty Little Secret

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Hey stepparents! I need to level with you. Last week I posted the podcast episode a day late, and I want to acknowledge it. I wanted to acknowledge it last week, but I found myself feeling embarrassed. I was having a really hard time not getting perfectionistic about it.

Today, we’re delving into exploring how stepparenting perfectionism gets in the way of our own happiness.

How many times do we handle something and hyper-focus on the thing we didn’t do—or could have done better—and build it up from a tiny anthill into a huge mountain? The lesson changes, but it always still shows up to remind us.

For me last week, I didn’t want to let you down. I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. It got so bad that I actually contemplated not putting out an episode last week at all, which I KNOW is absolutely not a solution to the situation.

I want to say… I am sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t just acknowledge it quickly. I didn’t want to bring attention to it because I was embarrassed about posting the episode late, and I felt bad because I respect you, the listener, so much.

Keeping these thoughts and feelings in isolation is exactly how this stuff builds up, festers, and takes on a life of its own. More importantly, it’s exactly what gets in the way of having the things you want most.

Stepparenting Support and Connection Create Courage

I can’t tell you how much it fills me with joy that someone is not only taking the time to listen to what I have to say, but actually finds value in it. It is so special to me that someone gave their time and energy to write beautiful words about my work.

Like this review from Pamela, that reads:

“I have listened to all the episodes thus far. Well done! Quite honestly, I think most people can relate well to the content without being a step-parent. It’s very relevant! Great job! Thank you for sharing! Keep them coming.”

I am so touched to receive these incredible testimonials, you guys. And I think that gave me the courage to move through and acknowledge this bump.

Because sometimes there are these hiccups—like maybe there’s an audio glitch—and I feel like I’m letting you guys down. But you have been so patient with me this whole time with your loyal listenership. I want to say how much I appreciate you showing up, and that I want to make sure I always show up for you.

I realized that I don’t need to be afraid to be direct with you. Because you are human, and you get it. You’re not holding a yardstick to me with that kind of minute detail. Hopefully, you recognize that this podcast is a conversation. Things happen sometimes, and I’m not perfect. I have my own things that I’m working through. And that is okay.

Why Stepparents Support Others More Than Themselves

I was recently talking to a good friend who said that we are often prone to being a “bad friend” to ourselves.

We often don’t even realize it. We are so hard on ourselves, and we say things and expect things of ourselves that we would never say to a friend or expect of them. But I care about you, your hopes, and your dreams. I work hard to show up for you in value and in service when it comes to stepparenting tips and maneuvering through difficult blended family moments.

Like when you feel stuck and alone. When you feel like all of the things that are most important to you—your family—are being taken away from you because of the tension and the hurdles that seem too challenging to overcome.

Overcoming Stepparenting Hurdles Together

You CAN overcome them! With the right skills, techniques, and by learning new ways of showing up, thinking about situations, and practicing self-care.

Together, we work through the details and help you overcome those hurdles and strengthen those relationships. We build your understanding of what all the options are and how to get there. Then, together, we clarify your values, your sense of self, and the exact role you want to play.

You get to create the life you want to create in every sense. There is a way, and I can show you how to make it happen. I would absolutely love to be your guide and to join you on this journey. I’m so excited for all the possibilities that await you.

It would be my honor and my pleasure to meet you and show you how all of the things that you don’t feel are possible are actually within your reach. I’ve learned through it, and I KNOW you can too! It just takes the right guide and the right tools.

If you’re ready to find out how I can help you, head over to synergisticstepparenting.com and fill out the questionnaire for a discovery call. There is a lot of beauty out there in your blended family. And yes, it IS for you.

I hope you have a fantastic day, and I’d love to hear from you and speak with you soon. Until next time, be well!

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